My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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