Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
