I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
