haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My life is pants optional.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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