I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
