do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
