mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
