I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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