just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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