I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
