shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize