I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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