can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
