I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
