I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
