ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Barsexuality is the new black.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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