He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
the night ended with taco bell and tears
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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