As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
