She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I believe in your delicious
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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