i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
