My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
