He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
