I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
