the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
