Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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