i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
