I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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