hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You took a bar mat shot.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
