dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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