that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
