Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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