shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
