I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
