you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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