Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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