I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got chris browned last night
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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