I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize