I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize