Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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