I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Success! We fucked roommates!
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