I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
