He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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