I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
