I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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