i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
