Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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