In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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