So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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