i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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