Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
