still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
