Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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