who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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