You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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