He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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