no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
your like the ambassador to my penis.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
