I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize