Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
