She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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