im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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