Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
