i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
