i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hippo gnu deer
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize