No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
