Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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