I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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