Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize