So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
