she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
wow bdsm is so cute
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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