How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
