I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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