Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
