your thong is hanging out like whoa
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
